Looks at me!

I'm on a date with a woman! Gay guys don't do that! Sure she's got a man's hair cut and Eddie Murphy dumped her, but look at her boobies!

I'm the king of the woooorrrrlllld!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I feel like a little school girl. Like a thousand kitties are licking my feet!

I just got a sweet piece of ass!

5:43 left in the 3rd quarter and I just touched every little girl's dream -- Tom Brady's ass. Yep. I took a roll in the ha-dy for what seemed like forever. I'll never forget this feeling.

11:40 left in the 3rd quarter

Hey, I tipped a ball in the game! Have you ever seen a guy get more camera time and interviews than me and do less on the field. I didn't think so. I've got to get back to my modeling career.