I am so fucking cool

One of the best things about being famous is that you have connections and while I don't have my own Fathead yet, I do have the ability to request custom Fatheads. Now, I gather there are some approvals the company has to get in order to produce them, but with the exception of the Oklahoma Fathead I requested last year, Strahan gets what Strahan wants. Now tell me, what kinda fag wants a Fathead on his wall? No fag that I have ever met! I can't wait to get my Mermania Fathead up on the wall!

See I told you Paul Stanley was straight!

In this clip you will see a bare-chested, manly Paul threatening to shove a laster pointer up the ass of one of his fans. A gay guy would never do that! A gay guy would by him a glass of wine, maybe rub his back and then ask if he can shove it up his ass. See the difference? I thought you would.

Straight Talk With Strahan

I've been doing some pretty gay ads lately, but damn, this ad is even gayer than Brady Quinn. They even drew veins on the wiener with mustard. What's Carson thinking? I can tell you the next time I go to get him in the sack and pull him to the ground and we begin to wrestle and sweat on each other, I am going to blow him a kiss and ask him if he swallowed it whole.

The after career

Ladies, start your engines.

What you see before you is a picture of me, Michael STRAIGHTman rocking the runway. Is there any question that what you see is 100% man?

Lesser men would have required a heavy oil or been two afraid to wear a loin cloth. Not me. Light oil and commando. That's right, I wasn't responsible if someone got poked in the eye or received a concussion.

Real men model. Posers and haters shop at Neiman Marcus. Now excuse me while I hit the catwalk.

A Statement From Michael STRAIGHTman

Larry Craig (second from left)? GAY!

That is all.

Where is Stradar?

I have been receiving a lot of email lately asking when Stradar will be brought back. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working correctly. Every time I plug in Paul Stanley of KISS, it keeps reporting that he is gayer than Charles Nelson Riley. As soon as I get this corrected, Stradar will be back.

Aske Me a Question

From time to time I will open the floor up to questions from my readers. This week I have time for two questions.



Q. Now that you are single and doing your own laundry, Bounce or Snuggle?

A. Are you kidding me? No self respecting man wants that sperm burping bear near his undies. How can I put a pounding on a man knowing that Snuggle Bear is caressing my pink tingly parts? I can't.



Q. What do you do with your free time.
A. I definitely do not have anything to do with HUNKAMANIA. I do not know anyone named Dangerous Dan and I have never filled the trunk of my Escalade with singles and driven to his home...if that is what you are after. Nor do I know his whereabouts.